Change of Plans

Wow have things changed in the past couple weeks!! Long story short, I realized I was bucking God and His plan for me and was instead trying to do it myself. I had an opportunity to rebuild houses around Sendai with SEND International. However, that trip would have been more structured and also would have cost more. I sort of bucked it for a few weeks until I realized that that was the door God was opening (Revelation 3:7b) and I was standing there trying to open a shut door. So, even though I most likely won't get to spend time with Sae and Takuya and I have a week less to raise a couple hundred dollars more, I am filling out my application to make it official and thus begins the wild ride to raise between $2,500-$3,000 before mid-February...Gotta trust God to provide... My biggest fear is that the funds will not come through and I will have just put myself in an EXTREMELY bad position for school next fall. Everything I am earning this year is going to have to go to Northwestern next year so I can finish my degree, and if I have to pay a large chunk of this trip (more than probably $500) I will not be in good shape for school.

That is why this trip planning has been so stressful; I am taking a huge leap here knowing I have the chance of not being able to pay for school next year. However, with that in my head, I feel God calling me to go back. It is a passion I have honestly tried to push aside and convince myself that it's not the right time. Then I have a quiet time and it is clear that this is the perfect time for me for a few reasons:
1) This is likely my last spring break..Next year I will probably have an internship spring semester.
2) It will look GREAT on my application for the JET Programme (Japan Exchange and Teaching Program..basically a government funded program where English speakers teach English in Japan for between 1-5 years). The JET Programme is very selective (around 70% get rejected) and the more culture experience I have in Japan, the better. My teaching experience is good; I need more culture experience.
3) Japan is at a key fork in their road right now. My generation of Japanese are very open to the Gospel--Something that traditionally has not been with older generations. With the younger generation looking for something more, and then the events of March 11, 2011, there are thousands, perhaps millions, of Japanese who are in need of hope and of a place to rest (rest that is found in Matthew 11:28).

So here I go, I feel like a little kid trying to learn how to ride a bike. There is a chance I will fall and get scraped up financially and I get scared out of my mind when my head gets consumed with that thought, but then I look back and realize my Father has a hold of the seat and is running with me keeping me steady. Unlike learning to ride a bike, though, I will never get to the point where I will be safe saying "Let go Daddy!" And I'm okay with that :)

So if you could pray for me during these next few months, I would be ever so grateful. It is going to be crazy.